personal growth – Five Little Duckies

Quantum Leap

Does anyone remember this TV show from the early 90’s? I remember watching this and thinking it was sci-fi and thinking how crazy the concept was. Jump to 2017 (pun intended). I’ve been on a journey of faith, personal development, and love for the past 5 years and of late I’m burrowing into the concept of quantum physics. If you have no idea what that is or what I’m talking about, hang onto your hat! Because your mind is about to be totally blown.

Let’s start with basics. Do you know that every single thing has a vibrational frequency? Everything. For, every. single. thing. in this universe is purely made of energy. Quantum physics is the study of this energy–the study of vibrational frequencies and energy and matter. And quantum physics explores the possibility of particles being in two states at the same time. I love how this site presents it: In 1905, Albert Einstein proved through quantum physics that energy and matter are interchangeable and interconnected. In other words, the universe and all things within it are interchangeable. Your energy, vibrational frequency, and physical self are interchangeable. We are one universal energy body manifesting itself in various forms throughout the cosmos. Boom! Mind blown.

Hard to wrap your brain around that, right? It’s ok, I’ll give you a minute. I’ll be right here when you get back (and maybe somewhere else at the same time! 😉 )

I’ve become so fascinated by this topic of quantum physics that I really TRULY feel I could write an entire book on this (and many folks have!). Without even knowing it, I’ve been dabbling in quantum physics for years. My oils. My Oola obsession. Personal development. I’ve ditched bad habits and toxic relationships. I’ve done an ENTIRE overhaul of the food we eat and the chemicals in our home environment. I’m releasing negative emotional patterns with the use of mantras and essential oils. I believe there’s something innate in all of us that KNOWS this stuff already and WANTS to be at the highest frequency we can be. There’s a MOUNTAIN of fascinating information on this topic. For instance, the scientific/medical community is now studying the use of frequencies to literally blast out cancer cells and remedy other medical conditions. I mean…seriously, how much more sci-fi can it get?! I am just seriously nerding out all over with this stuff. I look forward to the day when we all are empowered to live life to our highest frequencies and anyone who is sick can get better with light therapy, sound therapy, water therapy, essential oil therapy (which I am obligated legally to tell you–duh–does not yet exist!), or nutritional therapy. BRING. IT. ON.

So these vibrational frequencies are measured in megahertz units. A megahertz is a unit of alternating current or electromagnetic wave frequency. Yes…get out your spectacles because we are in severe NERD territory. And you know you’re loving it as much as I am!

The human body typically vibrates between 62 and 78MHz. Disease begins at 57MHz, cancer at 42MHz, and death at 25MHz. These are proven numbers, recorded over and over and over again by the scientific community to the point where they are well known standards. We now can know the vibrational frequency of ANYTHING. It’s not difficult to Google this stuff and find tons of sites that list the frequencies of the food you eat, the thoughts you have, the things you watch on TV, your emotions, your activities, your sleep, your outlook on life…the list goes on and on, my friends. Every thing you say, eat, do or think truly–TRULY–has a direct and PROFOUND impact on your health and your quality of life. Let me repeat that. Every single thing you say, eat, do, and think TRULY has a DIRECT impact on your HEALTH and your QUALITY OF LIFE. That is profound and astonishing. Sure, it’s something we hear all the time. You are what you eat. What you think about comes about. Watch what you wish for! Mind over matter. How many sayings do we have that drive this point home? And yet most of us walk around like zombies, letting life throw us around like your laundry on spin cycle. We develop negative thought patterns, negative emotional patterns, poor eating and sleeping habits, destructive relationships, self sabotaging habits…you catch my drift.

Here’s the good news: As we’ve said, everything you think, do, eat, experience, say, and feel affects your vibrational frequency…this means you have influence over your number. YOU HAVE INFLUENCE OVER YOUR NUMBER!!!! This is perhaps the best news you’ve ever heard. Trust me.

In order to raise your frequency, you need to have a grasp on what some common numbers are. I really like this chart of the vibrational frequency of emotions. This is a well known and highly used chart:

Negative thoughts lower frequency by approximately 12 MHz, but positive thoughts raise frequency by approx 10MHz. Look at love…love vibrates at around 500MHz. But guilt? Guilt vibrates at 30Mhz. You know the old notion that someone is giving you a “guilt trip” to make you feel bad about something? TRUTH! And the old saying “you are what you eat”?? YEP! You are. I really like this fellow bloggers’ article about frequencies and food. The highlight for me is this list right here: Fresh Foods 20-27 Hz, Fresh Herbs 20-27 Hz, Dried Foods 15-22 Hz, Dried Herbs 15-22 Hz, Processed/Canned Food 0 HZ. Again, processed foods…ZERO. If you want to impact your frequency greatly, start by shopping the perimeter of your grocery store and skipping all the inside isles which are loaded with processed foods!

Something else you can do…get some essential oils. Essential oils can actually assist you in supporting most of your body systems. They can make your water tastier, enabling you to drink more. They help with cravings, support normal sleep patterns, encourage you to love and be grateful, and they are amazing tools for emotional support! The frequency of therapeutic grade essential oils range between 52 and 580MHz…wow! Did you remember that love vibrates at 500MHz? Blue Spruce oil vibrates at 580MHz–a higher frequency than the emotion of love, scientifically speaking!!! Imagine how crazy good you will feel if you diffuse or apply this oil every day as part of a morning routine. Essential oils actually have the highest recorded vibrational frequency of any measured natural substance. That’s pretty boss! Next time you are feeling down or the negative thoughts are starting to overtake you, grab an oil. Smell it and apply it topically. Diffuse it all around you. Keep oils in your purse, on your kitchen counter, in your bathroom, at your bedside.

There are lots of things you can do to raise your frequency. Drink more water. Ditch sugar, alcohol, and coffee (yes, painful to hear!). Get more sleep and higher quality sleep. Exercise. Turn your negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Love yourself. Be grateful! (Does all this sound very…Oola? If you don’t know what Oola is, do yourself a favor and check it out…you can click to above link or read my previous blog entitled Ola-la.) Take a look at the food you’re eating. What’s the last book you’ve read? What are you doing to elevate your mind? Are you meditating? Practicing prayer, worship and fellowship? Are your friendships loving and open and accepting? Do your other relationships challenge you in a healthy way?

In my mind, quantum physics isn’t just a topic of discussion or a scientific theory. To me, it’s an approach to life. Living the life that God designed for you and the life that YOU were meant to live will bring you wellness, purpose, and abundance. The key to a life of high vibrational frequency is in your hands. You can bring yourself down with poor choices, negative thoughts, and destructive habits and relationships. Or you can lift yourself up at every chance possible. For some, it will take a lot of work to dig out of certain holes. But oh, it will be so worth it. For others, it will come a lot easier. However you get there, it is YOUR journey and your journey alone…and that is the whole point! You are what you eat. What you think about comes about. Watch what you wish for! Mind over matter. So…get your habits, thoughts, actions, relationships, and words aligned with the kind of life you truly want to live…and LEAP into it (you see what I did there?). 😉

The Truth About Motherhood

I know…I used a crazy title to grab your attention. But this post really does discuss one of the little-talked-about truths of motherhood. Everyone goes on and on about how joyous it is to be a mother. You are celebrated throughout your entire pregnancy, all in anticipation of the little bundle coming your way. A child who will take all of your energy, cause you decades of countless sleepless nights for a plethora of reasons, a child who will test your limits and boundaries, who will make you take the closest look at yourself that you’ve ever taken…he or she will fill you with so much joy you want to burst and in the next moment make you walk the line between reality and clinical insanity. You will do breathing exercises to learn how to lower your blood pressure and stay calm without blowing a gasket. You will say and do things you’ve regretted like never before…that one night stand in college that you just couldn’t let go? Well…that’s got NOTHING on the guilt trips and regret you’ll have as a mama. This child will steal your heart, teach you about people, and show you life. He/she will make you angrier than any other human being ever has…and you’ll learn a new capacity for forgiveness that you never knew existed within you. You’ll feel happiness, joy, pride, fear, worry, sadness, stillness, craziness, love, hope, hopelessness, anger, embarrassment, confusion, faith, despair, complete fulfillment, loneliness, heartache…and grief. Yes, grief. And those last two–heartache and grief–are the two I want to talk about today.

newborn

1st birthday

2nd birthday

3rd birthday

4th birthday

Do you remember what everyone said when you were pregnant? So many people say so many silly things. I had some doozies said to me! “WOW…it must be twins! Are you SURE it’s not twins?!” (Um…yeah, I’m pretty sure I’d know if I was carrying twins but I’ll double check at my next ultrasound, thanks.) I won’t say who, but a family member once arrived at my door and as I opened it she said “Ooooo…you’re so fat!” (I’m pretty sure the PC term here is PREGNANT…but, again…I thank you.) I used to think “what is wrong with these people?!” And most of them were moms! I would say to my husband “how can they forget what all of this is like?! Do they not remember being pregnant!? She has THREE children…how can she be so out of touch?!” And then there are the things people say or the way they look at you when you’ve got toddlers…one time I firmly told my toddler he wasn’t getting a cookie and the Over 65 Knitting Club at the coffee shop nearly called the authorities on me with their ice cold glances. Never mind the fact that he threw a 25 minute tantrum over his socks that morning, screamed all the way to music class, smacked his brother when he wanted the same toy, and the only reason I’m in this coffee shop is to get that shot of caffeine I’m so desperately needing because my baby is teething and I only slept 2 hours last night.

Well, as my kiddos morph from cute little babies to even cuter toddlers to big kids….I’m starting to get it. It’s not so much that people forget or are out of touch. I truly believe that most moms are just in a constant state of heartache and grieving. I think moms choose not to forget, but to “blur” a lot of their precious memories because it is too painful to really–I mean REALLY–go back there mentally and emotionally. Some things become repressed. And others transform into memories much different than actual events and moments as a means of emotional survival. It’s heartbreaking, really. And no one ever talks about this. No one tells you this BEFORE you become a mom. I mean, who would feel comfortable saying to a newly pregnant friend or relative, “Oh! Congratulations! It’s TRULY wonderful and such a blessing…but hold onto your hat, lady, because you are about to experience loss and heartache like you didn’t even know possible.” Yeah…no one is going to say that. That’s why we’ve invented the luke-warm reply “Enjoy it! It goes by way too fast!” To that I say:

#1–yes it does.

#2–this is code for “I die a little bit inside each day that my child gets older but I’m going to go buy a nice handbag now instead of allowing all those emotions to smother me”

Sorry, mamas, but you know I’m right! No one told you that you’d cry the last time you gave a midnight breastfeed to the baby who’s been preventing you from sleeping for a year. No one said you’d have a moment when you realize your breasts will never EVER again be the same and you didn’t even get to say goodbye to them because you didn’t know they were on their way out! Same with the bikini body! No one said you would feel the loss of your “old life” and its freedoms and connections even though you are happier than ever holding your new little person. No one warned you that one day you’d weep because you realize that your cuddle bunny hasn’t asked you to snuggle in over a month. Never in your life could you imagine that you’d miss the familiar call from the potty “Mama! I’m done!” Nobody says “I remember bawling my eyes out the first time I took X to pre-school.” Mommies talk about these things, sure…but AS they’re happening. With each other. In grief. There’s absolutely zero preparation. Who knew you’d be sniffling at magazine ads and using an entire box of tissues for television commercials? How many of you give a deep sigh of relief when your toddler asks for uppy because you’re just counting down the days until he doesn’t want you like that anymore? Who squeezes those chubby, sticky little hands and prays for one more day’s worth of that closeness before the child is embarrassed by your affection? No one tells you a tiny piece of you will crumble the day your child walks into a drop-off class without you. My kids are 4, almost 3, and 1 and I sit and cry at night because I’m worried they won’t visit me once they’re married with their own families!

newborn

1st birthday

2nd birthday

It’s absolutely heart-wrenching being a mom. And it’s beautiful, too. I expected snuggles and giggles and stories and playgrounds and the sweetest hugs I’ve ever felt. I knew there’d be good days and tough days and yelling and screaming and crying and “I’m sorry” and tantrums and boo-boos. I knew I wouldn’t sleep for a decade. I knew my energy would be totally zapped for a long time. I knew it would all go by too fast…but I didn’t expect the constant stream of grieving. I grieved when I stopped breast feeding. I grieved when they went to preschool. I grieved when I got pregnant with my second and realized it would never again be just me and my first. I wondered how I would love them both with my whole heart. I grieved when my first son outgrew his baby clothes. And then when the second did…and now that the third is. I grieve a little bit every time I buy a bigger size for my oldest. I grieved when my son came home from school asking “Mama, what’s a gun?” I grieved when family members didn’t come through for my kids. I grieved when their friends made them cry. As much as I needed and wanted to sleep, I grieved when they stopped sleeping right next to me in my bed and I couldn’t feel their breath on my skin. Perhaps the deepest grief I’ve felt so far is the finality of having my third (and, presumably, final) son. I grieved for not getting my girl. I grieved for not having the birth I wanted. I grieved for it not being MY choice to be done. I grieved for all that time I lost with my baby when he was in NICU and I was home with the rest of our family. I grieved for his brothers, who didn’t get to meet him until he was 41 days old. I grieved giving away my maternity clothes and knowing I’d never wear them again. I’ve been grieving giving away his baby clothes and all his gear as he outgrows them–things that all three of my boys needed and used and loved. I remind myself daily that these are just things. But it’s still very tough. I grieve knowing that some day they won’t want to rush home and tell me how their days were. I grieve thinking about times when they’ll be locked in their rooms and I will be a stone’s throw away but they will want nothing to do with me. I grieve knowing that they will someday leave this home that we have all shared for so many years together. That I won’t be able to just walk down the hall and see them in the flesh. Or have a conversation face to face any time I want to. I grieve knowing that they will some day be too busy with school or friends to pick up the phone and check on me. I grieve these things because I know they will happen…as they always do when you allow your children to sprout wings and fly. I should know–I’m a prime example of nearly ALL of these things and now that I’m a mom, I understand what my own mother surely went through. And I’m not even past age four! So I grieve.

And I will continue to grieve…every day, every week, every month…every year. And if you are in the same boat, I just want to say IT’S OK. It sucks. It is part of the process. Of course, the happy moments far outweigh the sad ones. But this is heavy and it’s real. And it’s ok to talk about it. In a way I wish someone had warned me…but in a way I understand that this is something you have to come into on your own.

Newborn

1st Birthday

The other side of this message is that you can’t FOCUS on the grieving. It will literally kill you, in my humble opinion. It will cause you to shrivel into a shell of a person. It will overtake you and drown you. But most importantly…it will cause you to miss the happy moments of your children’s lives. And we don’t want that! For the happy moments…the ones that fill you to the top with pride, love, joy, happiness, excitement, fulfillment, contentment, hope…are the moments to savor. They’re the ones to keep in the ‘ol memory bank. They are the moments to burn into your brain and never let go of. Allow them to linger. Allow them to marinate. Allow them to soak waaaayyyy in. And when you are 45 or 55 or 65 and you see a vibrant, glowing young woman carrying her first child…you will think back on all those wonderful moments, forgetting (or blocking out) the bad ones and the ones that made you ache with grief and you will dreamily say “Awww…enjoy it! It goes by way too fast!” ❤ 🙂

Anniversaries

I’m sitting here in my fancy dress, enjoying the peace and quiet of the rarely-witnessed double nap (my younger two) as we kill some time before heading out to a busy day of wedding festivities for my BIL’s big day. My husband and oldest son are both in the wedding so they are with the bridal party taking pictures and I’m not sure how long this little respite will last…

As my mind wanders, I look at the clock–10:32am. One year ago at this very moment, I was laying on a cold operating table, having an almost out-of-body experience as the doctors cut into me, rooted around, and pulled my baby from his warm, safe, nesting place an astonishing 10 weeks sooner than we both would have liked. As I lay there in a numb sort of trance, trying to keep my thoughts from crushing me, I heard what sounded almost like a kitten’s cry for help and I was slapped back to reality realizing this sound was coming from my baby. In a near-panic, I breathlessly asked the anesthesiologist, “Is that the baby?!” “That’s the baby,” he nearly whispered back to me. My heart almost burst knowing that he was breathing. He was whisked off where he’d meet his team of NICU doctors before he’d meet his mommy and daddy. Just then I started to fade out a little bit, trying to tell the anesthesiologist that my head felt funny. That’s when the doctors stopped talking about their weekend plans and the room got eerily quiet…again, I tried to exit my body and keep myself numb enough to get through whatever was happening and pretty soon the hush lifted, the doctors were once again discussing their after-hours plans, and I knew the baby and I were both in the clear–for the moment.

Laying in that recovery room, numb from the waste down and feeling exhausted and scared, all I could think about was the tiny baby whom I still hadn’t met, and how he was faring without me. I sent my reluctant husband away from me to go look after our son, who weighed in at just over 3 pounds–quite large for a 30-weeker, we were told. Those first 3 weeks were (pardon my French) hell as we went through the ups and down of the NICU–our son needed a pretty hefty surgery at 6 days old. He had lost a full pound with all of the issues he was experiencing. Sending your 2 pound baby into a 5-hour general-anesthesia-bathed surgery is not for the faint of heart. Barely released to face my own recovery from the emergency C-Section, I hobbled back to the hospital and sat alone at my son’s bedside (as hubby had to stay home and care for our two toddlers), waiting for them to wheel him down to surgery. I am oh-so-grateful to my pastor for unexpectedly showing up and sitting with me the ENTIRE day from the time my son went into surgery until late that night when he was out, had spent two hours in the recovery room, “woke up” (I say this lightly, because he was still very groggy when I finally got to see him but most of the anesthesia had worn off), and I was able to see him. My son spent 41 days in the NICU (but who’s counting?) and was able to come home several weeks before the initially projected date. Those 41 days were some of the most difficult I’ve ever endured. Not being near him 24/7 broke my heart but my toddlers needed me, too, and their lives couldn’t stop turning for over a month. The baby was receiving fantastic care at Maria Fareri Children’s Hospital near our home. I learned to let go of the fact that I couldn’t be by his side every moment and to trust in the care of his NICU team. I focused on getting my milk supply up for his debut at home and I made the most of every single moment I was able to be with him in the NICU. We did a lot of kangaroo care and attempted to breast-feed as soon as my son learned to suck and swallow. Those precious moments alone with him in the NICU are engraved on my soul forever.

First time holding him.

Surgery Day!

First Halloween!

So…anniversaries. Sometimes they are happy. And sometimes they are sad. Sometimes your body or your mind or your subconscious will remember them before your conscious mind does. From the moment I woke up this morning, I was an emotional basket case–bursting into tears in the shower, getting emotional as I dressed my sons for the wedding, crying once hubby and oldest were out the door and the other two down for naps. In that moment when I sat down with my cup of tea and glanced at the clock (10:32am), it all hit me like a ton of bricks. Yes, there’s a wedding today (I’m not a typical wedding cryer…not even at my own), and yes, it’s my son’s first birthday today. But I knew this emotion was coming from a deeper place. The anniversary of the day my son and I will share until the end of time. An anniversary that, luckily for us, has a happy ending. But for many who have this same experience, it doesn’t. And that makes it a different kind of anniversary. On this day, I now feel that I share in the heartache with all those mamas, too. It’s a unique “club” to be in–one that certainly isn’t chosen but that chooses you.

Coming Home!

First time meeting brothers!

Proud Brothers 🙂

I count my blessings tenfold today and every day. I send out love to those mamas who don’t get to squeeze their little bundles on their first birthdays. I lift up my son in love and humble gratitude for his unwavering spirit and his infectious smile. And I embrace this anniversary as I would any other. I accept what it was at the time, what it is today, what it will be next year and what it will be every year to follow.

Photo by Little Whimsies Photography

Love ❤

Happy anniversary and happy 1st birthday to my third little light. May you always shine bright, sweet boy! ❤

Self (Cyber) Care

Today’s blog is short and sweet. Everyone is talking about self care. And with good reason. As a VERY busy mommy of three who owns two businesses, I get that self care is super important. It’s the reason I get quarterly massages at my happy place (Thann Sactuary), keep countless essential oils in my purse, on my counters, in the bathrooms and in every drawer, in the car, it’s why I diffuse them throughout my house…(you get the picture–my life is littered with essential oils!), it’s the reason I lock myself in my room for 30 minutes when my husband is home from work, it’s why I savor a good cup of coffee or tea, and the reason I take early morning walks as the sun is coming up before all the little creatures in my house are up and awake. It’s also the reason I took ten or fifteen minutes to do this next thing which turned out to be WAY more important than I ever thought it would be.

One day I was wasting seconds–maybe minutes–deleting annoying spam emails. Each and every time I do this I grumble to myself…”this is SO annoying….such a waste of time…I don’t even like half of these companies…why do I get so many of these?!” And so on and so forth. Talk about a negative attitude manifesting itself within SECONDS of me picking up my phone. I would hear my inner thoughts and think NOT GOOD. Your thoughts are extremely powerful and help to manifest everything from the way your day will go to the money that comes to you, the career you have, your relationships and beyond (and delving into this concept, which is called the “law of attraction”, is for another time!).

So back to today’s thought…this may seem too simple and too obvious but unless I’m the only one who has just never taken the time to do this, my short blog today could fill you with a sense of relief, add a few minutes to your day, or perhaps most importantly, just improve your daily attitude!

So here’s the big revelation…UNSUBSCRIBE TO EACH AND EVERY SPAM EMAIL! Yes, it takes a few extra minutes on the front end but I cannot even tell you how this tiny little act has improved my daily attitude! When I check my emails now, my inbox is full of just the things I want to see and emails from REAL people. When I pick up my phone, there aren’t 25 zero-content messages in my inbox.

Of course I missed many solicitations on the first round of purging because they don’t all come on the same day, so as they kept piling into my inbox in the days to follow, I just took a few extra seconds to click the unsubscribe button and follow through with getting those emails out of my inbox for good. So liberating! Just like cleaning out an over-stuffed closet or finally ditching those “I’ll wear these again someday” clothes at the back of your closet. It seems obvious and simple but purging can feel so liberating and like such a burden has been lifted! I have written about purging your STUFF before (check out the post on tag sales) but purging your CYBER “stuff” is equally important. Do. This. Now. Your heart will feel a little bit lighter, your mind a little less clogged, and you’ll be smiling like a kid with an ice cream cone. Trust me. Who doesn’t want to be sporting a smile like this? 😉

Road Trip!

Ahhh….road trips. An integral part of my life from the get go. I remember road-tripping it all the way from Pennsylvania to Florida on family vacations. Not to mention the frequent 3-hour trips to my grandma’s house and the other multitude of vacation trips we took by vehicle since flying wasn’t in our budget for a family of four in the 80’s. Of course, this was back when a kid could sleep on the floor of the car, stand between the front seats, climb all over the back, or even sit in the hatch! Those days are over, my friends…kids are strapped in with limited movement and I can’t blame them when they get cranky. They can’t even shift in their seats!? Imagine that…how would you feel?! That’s why I’ve composed this blog to share some of our road trip tips. (The picture below is not my family!)

Full Bellies, Quiet Ride!

Here’s the mantra you want to repeat over and over again when the going gets tough…this, too, shall pass 😉 Seriously, though, the first tip I have is the lifeline of ALL of our trips– car or airplane. It’s the breath in our daily outings, the serenity during church, it’s every calm moment during every. single. day. I’m talking about the almighty SNACK. And man do I LOAD UP for road trips. So, this is a no-brainer and I know you’re thinking “I did not log onto this blog to be told to bring snacks in the car–everyone knows this!?” True. Very true. My main tip here is really in organizing the snacks. So you can go about this a few different ways…if you have the ideology that you will portion control and distribute the snacks on intervals, then you need to have the ENTIRE snack bag in the front seat with you at your feet. I used to put the bag-o-snacks behind my seat. After twisting and turning and getting carsick for the last time while blindly digging through the snacks looking for that one specific item my toddler saw me pack and is ten seconds from blowing a gasket unless I can produce it NOW….I decided to move the snacks to the center in the back. But then my two-year-old turned three. And he could SEE and REACH the snack bag. No bueno! Now the snack bag lives with me in the front seat. Annoying for leg room? Absolutely. Buy totally worth it when I can just reach down, pull out what I need, and pass it back to the gremlins.

More tips on this very important subject…in the same bag as the actual snacks, bring bowls, napkins, spoons, plates, straws, a knife for cutting, ziplocs for leftovers, a plastic bag for garbage, and anything else you might need for your particular snacks. Learned that one the hard way! “Oh I have this lovely box of crackers…and nothing to serve them to my messy, uncoordinated toddlers in ” Let me tell you, turning around every 3 minutes to refill a sticky little hand with 4 more crackers was no less obnoxious than digging blindly behind the seat for the whole trip! And the first time I brought bananas for a snack and didn’t have anywhere to put the peels? Let’s just say the car did not smell nice when we finally remembered that I had shoved them in the side of my door

So what if you are not the snack nazi and you just can’t be bothered and it’s a total free-for-all because hey–the kids are happy and quiet (and I am SURE I will totally be this person when the kids get a little older..in fact, I’m actually planning on it!). Here’s a very cool tip: use an organizing bin to prepare snacks the night before and just give each child one and let them have at it! (Still bring back-up and refill snacks, of course!)

To Screen or Not to Screen

Ok, you’ve got the snacks covered. Another no-brainer these days is the screen. Whether you have TVs in the car or each child has an iPhone or iPad, this can also save you. We have an iPad that we put in the middle for all three kids to watch as we roll along. My tip here is that Netflix has an amazing variety and it’s a monthly subscription so you don’t have to pay for each show or movie. You do need to have streaming capabilities with your data plan, though, so be sure to check on that! One other tip here is to ask each child to list three things they’d like to watch on the way and then bring that list with you so that once you get rolling you’re not looking down scrolling through tons of items and causing fights in the back seat “I want Daniel Tiger…NOOOO, we ALWAYS watch that. I want Paw Patrol!!! It’s not faaaaiiirrrrr!!!!!” Ugh, spare me! Much easier to go by the list and you can remind them that they DID pick these shows…remember??? If you have a no-screen policy, then just skip this one.

Be Prepared

If you have toddlers I recommend having a change of clothes separate from your giant suitcase (I know you all have one!) so that if there is a spill or accident, you aren’t unloading the ENTIRE car digging through everything to find a pair of underwear (I know I packed it somewhere…!!!?!??). If you have a baby, I recommend having two changes of clothes separate from your giant suitcase…probably in the diaper bag with the diapers and wipes and what-not. Don’t bury the diaper bag when packing the car!

It Takes a Village

Here’s one new to me, as previously all my children were too young to be helpers…if you have a baby and an older sibling, make sure they are next to each other in the back–No space between them (in my car, it’s not a problem because the kids are three seats across in the back!). Here’s why: big sibling is now your helper. What I’ve found is that big sibling will relish the responsibility you are giving him and you will have a deep sigh of relief when baby actually stops crying and takes the puffers from his big brother or sister. I always bring puffers (you know, those strange baby “snacks” that disappear in the baby’s mouth before they get a chance to swallow them), a bottle of milk, a sippy cup of water, some baby toys, and plenty of wipes–and of course you know I’ve got it all in the front seat with me for easy access 😉 Here’s my big boy giving his baby brother a bottle on the way to Grammy’s house!

Look Out for Number One 😉

Next up is actually prep for mommy and daddy, for you might need snacks too! Pack a snack for yourselves, some bottled water, and tea or coffee if that’s your thing. We all know that if the baby falls asleep or the older kids aren’t complaining…you’re not stopping! So don’t neglect yourselves.

Planning ahead

Map out places to stop for meals and/or coffee BEFORE you’re on the road. Nothing is more annoying than trying to get the Maps app to work on your phone when you’re in the middle of nowhere and all you want is a meal that’s not made from leftover animal parts. We are very fussy eaters and admitted food snobs so we always map out the healthier options and the coffee spots so that when it’s time to stop, we know what’s around within a 20 minute radius. It may seem tedious but, trust me, this will save you so much frustration and may even prevent meltdowns (since kids decide they are STARVING and absolutely CANNOT WAIT FOR FOOD in a matter of 3 minutes). And if you go the same routes a lot (ie Grandma’s house, the annual trip to the beach, etc), you will only have to do it once but you’ll use the info many, many times.

Don’t Get Weighed Down

So do any of you feel like your car looks like this (lefthand picture) when you’re finally ready to head out when you intended for it to look like this (righthand pic)?

LOL. Pack your car in layers. I always put the stuff we absolutely will not need until we’ve arrived at our destination into the trunk first. Then I work backwards. If there’s anything I think we might need to access–even on an off-chance–I put it in last.

The Old Standby

Of course, do pack some good ‘ol toys and books. My kiddos do love to look at books and play with some of their favorite toys in the car. As they get older, we will be able to do more creative things like I spy, count the blue cars, license plate bingo and all that fun stuff. And if your kiddos are young, they probably still want their stuffed animal friends and their pillows. Although I’m sure older kids still want their pillows. Heck who am I kidding, even I like to have my pillow in the car on long trips! The only recommendation I have here is to make sure there are a few blankets handy. Because at least one child always drifts off to sleep and then wakes up freezing.

A New Trick

You all know me…my “new trick” for you is to have your essential oils on hand right in the front seat with you! 🙂 Some oils I love to bring on vacations include Stress Away, Bergamot, Lemon, Peace & Calming, Lavender, Peppermint, Thieves, and Purification (oh you know I bring WAAAAAYYYY more than that! But those are a good starting point if you’re more of a beginning oiler). Tips here: bring a few cotton balls. When the car gets stuffy (peppermint) or smelly (purification), or when the kids are cranky (peace & calming) or hubs is on your nerves (lavender), or you get stuck in traffic (stress away)…put a couple drops of that oil on a cotton ball and stick it in your A/C vents! You can also apply these to your wrists and temples, of course, and add some lemon to your water (in a glass bottle, not a plastic one), to make your drink a little more refreshing. Need more info on essential oils? Email me! amo4piano@yahoo.com or check out this link.

I hope these tips have been useful for you! When you’re about to pull your hair out and you can’t even hear your husband over the screaming and crying, you may not be able to communicate with him but at least you will have a plan! 😉 Happy road-tripping!

Getting Rid of Your Junk!

Now that title is an eye-catcher, right? Who doesn’t want to clean up their life and get rid of their literal and figurative junk!? It is therapeutic to purge things. In fact, there is a whole…dare I say underground revolution…surrounding this right now. If you do a quick Google, you will find COUNTLESS books about purging–purging grief, plastic, bad habits, toxic people…THINGS. That’s where this particular post comes in 😉 Many of my friends are reading the Marie Kondo book now and going to town with the purging of THINGS (I’m a born purger so I’m admittedly not reading the book…yet!).

I’m not sure what it is, but I grew up surrounded by yard sales. Here in NY, they call them tag sales and I’ve also heard garage sale. Whatever you want to call it, I think there’s a reason my family was drawn to them–for both hosting and shopping. There’s something about putting your unwanted items out and being able to make a little cash. It makes you feel a bit like an entrepreneur, a bit like the manager of a store for the day, and a lot like you’re cleaning out–which you are! And shopping at yard sales…it’s all about the hunt for a great bargain! To this day, I get most of my kids’ clothing at yard sales. It just makes sense!

Because of my family’s obsession with garage sales over the years, I’ve learned a lot…A LOT…about hosting them. I’m going to share some tips with you today so you can have a stellar tag sale, get rid of a lot of your “junk” and put some money in your pocket!

The first step is promoting your sale. If no one knows about it, you will be left with all the stuff you started with. And a sad face 😦 Some people like to purchase ads in the Pennysaver or other publications. I am here to tell you that this strategy has gone the way of the cavemen! We have had the most success with a healthy mix of good old fashioned SIGNS (yes, that’s right) and social media blasts. Get on your local Facebook community pages and use your Twitter account…advertise your sale on all the group FB pages you can find that relate to your community. Here in my area, we have a “mommy page” for every single town. I blast all of those pages with my yard sale details! And it’s not spam because mommies LOVE tag sales! The signs…the way your signs look are of utmost importance. They need to be large, neatly printed, and easy to read when driving by quickly. Plus, they must contain pertinent information: date, time, location, and rain or shine, if that’s the case for you. They also need to be placed at major intersections and on highly traveled roadways. Arrows are very important. Make the arrows separately…they should be BIG! If you make them separately, you can place them whichever direction you need to when you hang the sign 😉 Easy! Here is a picture of my signs.

Next…organizing your sale. First of all…I recommend putting a price tag on every. single. item. Labor intensive? Yes. But, it will pay off HUGE when people know what to pay. If you don’t do this, you will spend 90% of your time on sale day answering the question “how much for this?” Also, when people haggle you (and they will!), you will know your starting point. If you don’t label things, you might end up giving things away for much less than you really intended and regret it later.

Next, I like to organize everything into sections so people have an easy and pleasant shopping experience. Also, it helps me out because when the sale gets crowded I can keep an eye on everything. I know where the more valuable items are and I can watch things better even when there’s a rush of people.

Round up tents (in case of rain!), tables, tarps, and clothing racks. You WILL sell more of everything if items are nicely hung and laid out and people do not have to dig through piles of things or bend to the ground for all items. If things are heaped in piles, people will miss A LOT but if things are organized, it’s easier for shoppers to see everything you have to offer! Another trick is to make tables out of saw horses and slabs of wood or old doors. We take a few doors off their hinges in order to make some really stellar tables each time we have a sale.

Also, it is good to have a variety of things. If you’ve only got clothing to sell, wait another year or two until you have more of a variety of items. Or, if you really want an epic sale, make it a multi-family sale. I have hosted four of these now and they are amazing. People flock to these sales because the variety of items is really great. If you’re doing a multi-family sale, I recommend that the head in charge of each family (usually the mom 😉 ) have her own money and her own money apron. When people buy items from multiple sellers, you do the math in your head and hand it over to your co-seller. For instance, a woman buys two items from you, one from Sheila and three from Ella. You take her entire transaction and split it up in your head (or on paper!), keep your earnings, and hand Sheila’s and Ella’s over to them. Done! Easy! It might sound like it can get complicated, but it really doesn’t. Another tip to help out with this is not to include items under $1 each. Having to make change with coins is annoying and does complicate splitting up multi-person sales. Honestly…if it’s not worth a whole dollar, throw it out or donate it!

These are my top tips. To recap:

Promote your sale using social media and neat, clear signage
Put a price on every item
Organize your sale into easy-to-distinguish sections (I label mine with signs!)
The head of each family should have her own money apron and change (include lots of $1 bills!)
If it’s not worth a dollar, chuck it or donate it. Don’t fuss with coins at your yard sale!
With that…happy yard-sale-ing! Whether you plan to host or shop…one man’s junk is another man’s treasure! ❤

30 Days of Kindness

Last Sunday in church, the sermon was about kindness. Let me sum up the story for you in a few sentences. Mephibosheth was the son of Jonathan (grandson of Saul)–a family that had long been at odds with King David. Jonathan and Saul both died in battle when Mephibosheth was a child…he had an accident and became paralyzed…he was considered a low-life and worthless because of his inability to carry on his “house” (the house of Saul). David extended kindness to Mephibosheth. Without question. Without conditions. Whew! That is a lot of detailed story condensed into an embarrassingly succinct few sentences! But now you have the very basic background story.

The story is especially important because of the extreme class differences in these two people. Mephibosheth was a “low life” and David, a king. For this man to be eating at the king’s table whenever he so pleased was a very unheard of thing. Yet that is exactly the offer that King David extended to Mephibosheth.

So…the sermon was about extending kindness to others. And the congregation was challenged…to 30 days of kindness. The specific challenge: Consciously extending kindness at least once a day to others for 30 consecutive days. Not necessarily others in a destitute state as Mephibosheth was (although that is part of it, but maybe not sustainable for a full 30 days…but maybe that is sustainable for 30 days?) but, as the pastor said, to anyone–as long as it’s a conscious effort at extending kindness. And as long as it’s for 30 consecutive days. That part is important.

This seems simple, right? But have you ever consciously done one kind thing a day, each and every day? Sure, we end up doing kind things randomly throughout our days, but consciously and with effort doing one kind thing a day? I thought this was going to be so super easy-peasy…I’m struggling, friends! This exercise has really opened my eyes to how fast we plow through our days, sometimes without looking up. It’s not that I’m being unkind or rude or anything like that. It’s just that I’m not EXTENDING kindness like I could (and should) be. Especially when I often times feel it in my heart but I don’t stop to extend that kind word or kind action.

I’m posting this to stay accountable. Here is my list so far:

Sure, some of these are small acts of kindness–and that’s ok. Others are a little larger. You don’t have to have certain resources to pull this off. Not many people can go out and buy a car for someone or pay someone else’s rent or solve deep-rooted issues in a loved ones life, etc, etc. Some people can’t even buy a cup of coffee for someone because they don’t have the extra 2 bucks. It’s ok. That’s not what this is about. There are lots of ways to show kindness. In fact, I’d love to hear your ideas in the comment section below! Maybe I will use one of your ideas! 🙂 And I’m going to check back in every so often until I’ve completed my 30 Days of Kindness. To stay accountable.

Now…you knew where this was going, right? I now challenge YOU to 30 Days of Kindness. You will take a closer look at your habits. You will have to think first and be intentional about your kindness. You will have days where you forget and then do something lame at the end of the night so you can get your act of kindness in. You will also have some really great moments and you’ll grow and open your heart just a little bit. Which is never a bad thing ❤ 🙂